Monday, October 10, 2011

I'm Every Woman!

My initial thought was "I'm not special." 

Let me explain.  I am just like thousands of people around the world who struggle with their weight.  I've started and stopped, succeeded and failed.  I've binged, and I've starved.  I've given up - given in.  In fact, I started this very blog in 2007.  Into 2008, I was fairly steady with my weightloss journey and recorded my thoughts, successes, failures, ideas, etc. on this page.  I did it to provide myself with a written memory of my journey, and I did it to inspire others.  Then I fell off the horse and ate the horse - again.

Here I am again on my own.  Walking down the only road I've ever known.

I am sick and tired of that being my anthem.  I am sick and tired of the real me being hidden behinds pounds of fat.  I'm sick and tired of being held back from the things I want to do.  That's why, when I pulled up my trusted blog, I deleted those past memories of failure.  There's no looking back.  I can't dwell on my past failures.  I have to pick myself up by my fat jeans and look forward.  I can't change the past.  If I could, I would go back in time and slap that roll of cookie dough out of my hand; but I can't.  All I can control is what I do from this point going forward.

Right now, I'm a resolute fat girl - resolute on becoming healthy - resolute on living the life I deserve to live - resolute on living a long, healthy life!

I am worth the time and effort to eat healthier - live healthier - be healthier.  In that regards, I AM SPECIAL!!!  And I have a new theme song:

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Saying AYO!
Gotta let go!
I wanna celebrate and live my life
Saying AYO!

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