My initial thought was "I'm not special."
Let me explain. I am just like thousands of people around the world who struggle with their weight. I've started and stopped, succeeded and failed. I've binged, and I've starved. I've given up - given in. In fact, I started this very blog in 2007. Into 2008, I was fairly steady with my weightloss journey and recorded my thoughts, successes, failures, ideas, etc. on this page. I did it to provide myself with a written memory of my journey, and I did it to inspire others. Then I fell off the horse and ate the horse - again.
Here I am again on my own. Walking down the only road I've ever known.
I am sick and tired of that being my anthem. I am sick and tired of the real me being hidden behinds pounds of fat. I'm sick and tired of being held back from the things I want to do. That's why, when I pulled up my trusted blog, I deleted those past memories of failure. There's no looking back. I can't dwell on my past failures. I have to pick myself up by my fat jeans and look forward. I can't change the past. If I could, I would go back in time and slap that roll of cookie dough out of my hand; but I can't. All I can control is what I do from this point going forward.
Right now, I'm a resolute fat girl - resolute on becoming healthy - resolute on living the life I deserve to live - resolute on living a long, healthy life!
I am worth the time and effort to eat healthier - live healthier - be healthier. In that regards, I AM SPECIAL!!! And I have a new theme song:
I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Gotta let go!
I wanna celebrate and live my life