The past couple of weeks have been rough. I would describe them as an emotional roller coaster, but that would require some ups. It's all been downs. At least that has been the way it has felt. I think I've cried more in the past 2 weeks than I have in the past 2 years, and I've been trying to figure out why. Yes, I've had a lot of stress; but this isn't my first tango with stress. So why the tears? I then realized that while I've had plenty of stress in the past, I've dealt with it differently. When stress hit, I fed it. Pizza, ice cream, greasy cheeseburgers, salty fries, cake, donuts, fried rice, anything unhealthy. I tried "treating" my stress with food. Now that I'm living healthy, I don't have that vice; and the stress had to come out or be treated somehow. Enter tears stage left.
While my emotions are still raw and I do not know what the future holds, I can't help but be very excited and happy with the progress I've made. Even as I lay across our bed this week crying because I wanted a big greasy cheeseburger and fries from Five Guys but didn't have the calories, I couldn't help but take joy in the fact that just a couple of months ago I was 37 pounds heavier and couldn't care less about how many calories I was consuming.
It's not easy, but I keep reminding myself of the progress I've made, how much better I feel; and I shouldn't let the "trolls" in my life steal my joy or throw me off the course I am on. At the end of the day, the only person I can control is myself.