To say it's been a rough week would be an understatement. Despite the stress I've been under, the anxiety I've been feeling, and the way my heart has been hurting, I have stayed strong. Old Amy would have curled up by now with a pint of ice cream. I deserve a pat on the back - my mom even said so!
While I've been strong all week, tonight I feel week; and it's taking everything in me not to binge on something crazy. Actually, earlier I think I sobbed in to Philip's shoulder, "I want a big greasy cheeseburger!" It sounds a bit funny to me now, but a few hours ago I was teetering on the edge. I know it was pure emotion; after all, I'm still getting over a stomach bug. A big greasy cheeseburger would not be good. Instead of the big greasy cheeseburger, I had scrambled egg whites and toast. If I had stopped there, all would have been good. Instead, I did something stupid and had rice cakes with peanut butter. That wasn't the stupid part. The stupid part was eating it before recording my dinner. If I had recorded everything first, I would have known I was out of calories for the day. Now, I'm over my calories by 151.
I just keep telling myself: Tomorrow is a new day. I will not dwell on my mistakes. I will not let my emotions rule me. I will not let others steal my joy. I am in control of me!