Struggling

To say it's been a rough week would be an understatement.  Despite the stress I've been under, the anxiety I've been feeling, and the way my heart has been hurting, I have stayed strong.  Old Amy would have curled up by now with a pint of ice cream.  I deserve a pat on the back - my mom even said so!

While I've been strong all week, tonight I feel week; and it's taking everything in me not to binge on something crazy.  Actually, earlier I think I sobbed in to Philip's shoulder, "I want a big greasy cheeseburger!"  It sounds a bit funny to me now, but a few hours ago I was teetering on the edge.  I know it was pure emotion; after all, I'm still getting over a stomach bug.  A big greasy cheeseburger would not be good.  Instead of the big greasy cheeseburger, I had scrambled egg whites and toast.  If I had stopped there, all would have been good.  Instead, I did something stupid and had rice cakes with peanut butter.  That wasn't the stupid part.  The stupid part was eating it before recording my dinner.  If I had recorded everything first, I would have known I was out of calories for the day.  Now, I'm over my calories by 151.

I just keep telling myself:  Tomorrow is a new day.  I will not dwell on my mistakes.  I will not let my emotions rule me.  I will not let others steal my joy.  I am in control of me!