The hubby reminded me last night that I needed to do a post. When I asked why, he said, "You haven't done one in awhile." Well, yeah, that's true.
We've had quite a bit of life getting in the way. Our little Piglet has been sick, my grandmother has been in the hospital, Philip has been out of town, and I've been stress eating. I literally have a war raging inside of me. Old Amy wants to eat everything and anything. Resolute Amy keeps yelling at her, "We've come so far! You know you really don't want or need that! You know this is just your emotions! You know this is only going to make things worse!" Several times Old Amy told Resolute Amy to put a cork in it, but Resolute Amy has been right every time.
Why do we ignore ourselves? I ignored Resolute Amy all last week, and I wanted to ignore her yesterday. Tuesday was a bad, dark day for this Resolute Fat Girl. It was extremely dark. There were tears, and an overwhelming desire to give up everything. I can't even begin to describe how I felt yesterday.
BUT I white knuckled it! I drank my water, I counted what I ate, I cried, I wallowed in self pity, but I made it through. When Panera gave me a full turkey sandwich of some kind instead of the 1/2 roasted turkey avocado I ordered, I ate the turkey, veggies, and bread (ditched the cheese) and gave the other half to a friend (shout out Nancy!). When Dairy Queen, Wendy's, KFC, Arby's, and Handels called my name, I gripped the steering wheel and drove on past. I may have cried and thought, "Whoa is me, this is just too hard, I just don't want to go on"; but I did.
So, I'm still bouncing around between -50 and -55. Last week I lost a pound, this week I gained it back. (For the record, I consider myself blessed for only gaining a pound!) As of now, I am at -51. Still pretty impressive! That's in 6 months!
The plan for today? Record what I eat. Eat every 2-3 hours. Eat fat loss plates. Drink regular water in between bottles of fizzy water. Hit the gym after work. I've got 9 pounds to lose to get my next bead, and I would LOVE to have that bead by June 12th! That's 2 weeks! COME ON AMY!